taylor

where is freud when you need him?

i've been looking so long at these pictures of
you that i almost belive that they're real i've
been living so long with my pictures of you that
i almost believe that the pictures are all i can
feel

remembering you standing quiet in the rain as
i ran to your heart to be near and we kissed as
the sky fell in holding you close how i always
held close in your fear remembering you
running soft through the night you were bigger
and brighter than the snow and
screamed at the make-believe screamed at the
sky and you finally found all your courage to
let it all go

remembering you fallen into my arms crying
for the death of your heart you were stone
white so delicate lost in the cold you were
always so lost in the dark remembering you
how you used to be slow drowned you were
angels so much more than everything oh hold
for the last time then slip away quietly open
my eyes but i never see anything

if only i had thought of the right words i could
have hold on to your heart if only i'd thought of
the right words i wouldn't be breaking apart all
my pictures of you

Looking So long at these pictures of you but i
never hold on to your heart looking so long for
the words to be true but always just breaking
apart my pictures of you

there was nothing in the world that i ever
wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart
there was nothing in the world that i ever
wanted more than to never feel the breaking
apart all my pictures of you

You scored as Xander Harris. You're quite the character. Though you tend to over react you're never one to back down when something needs to be done. You are however quite the slacker, but you're loving, caring heart more than makes up for it. </td> Xander Harris 67% Buffy Summers 54% Anya 54% Dawn Summers 46% Spike 42% Willow Rosenberg 29% Tara Maclay 29% Rupert Giles 25% Which Buffy The Vampire Slayer Character Are You Most Like!? created with QuizFarm.com

You Know You're From LA When...

You're driving on the 101 and see a clear cut definition of where the smog begins and ends You go to a karaoke bar and battle with seven year old divas-in-training who are trying to steal your thunder You're sitting in traffic for at least an hour at any given part of the day You go to the beach and see that real lifeguards actually do look like the lifeguards from Baywatch You see purple and gold and the word "Threepeat" on every corner You begin to "lie" to your friends about where you are (i.e. "Yeah I'm like 20 minutes away") - when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there). You eat a different ethnic food for every meal You look around at the nice cars around you during traffic, thinking it'll be your favorite Laker or WB star. You make a conscious choice to watch Jay Leno over David Letterman You mourned for Tupac and not for Biggie You know it's best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm. Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes". You know what neighborhood someone lives in by the degree of damage incurred during the riots. You've inadvertently learned Spanish. You've got to bring the cat/plants in when it drops to 55 degrees. In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day. You've bumped into a celebrity at El Pollo Loco. You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the five" mean. Your pizza delivery guy is also on contract with Warner Bros. If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving. You have a gym membership because it's mandatory. Your TV show is interrupted by a police chase. You can't fall asleep without the lull of a helicopter flying overhead. When tourists ask where they can get souvenirs, you direct them to Venice Beach. You know someone named Freedom, Rainbow, Persephone or Destiny. You've trespassed through private property to get to the "Hollywood" sign. You've partied in Tijuana at least once. You know Hollywood has a "lake". You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll. You've lost your car in the Century City Shopping Center parking lot. You've ever bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp. You think that Venice is a beach. You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice. You've started crossing a street and returned to the curb when the DON'T WALK sign started flashing. You've never listened to NPR. Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code. You have a favorite Thai restaurant. You think Johnnny Rocket's is an accurate depiction of a diner. You think Manhattan is a beach. You eat pineapple on pizza. You've been to Disneyland more times than Downtown. When giving directions , you follow up with the phrase: "With/Without traffic." You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "310." Driving along, you see a high-speed police chase approaching in your rear view mirror. You don't panic or even flinch. Instead, you call your friends on your car phone and tell them you're on TV. You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks. Your cell phone has left a permanant impression on the side of your head. You never, ever go into the water at the Beach. You barely touch the sand. Everyone you know has 3+ phone numbers. Home, Office, mobile, pager, two-way, voicemail..... It is not unusual for your waitress at a restaurant to have blue streaked hair, a dragon tattoo and tounge piercing. You are awakened in the middle of the night by a moderate earthquake. Your reply: "That ain't even a 5-pointer" and go back to sleep. You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It don't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason. You live 10 miles from work. It takes you 60 minutes to get home. Walking out of Jamba Juice, you see that a movie is being shot on-location across the street. You are not happy, or even slightly exited that there may be a movie star there. You just say, " They f*ckin better not be blocking my parking space." You have to yell at your bank teller through a 2 inch thick wall of plexi-glass. That last one goes for your local convienience store man, too. You go to Las Vegas for a weekend getaway and the whole trip cost you $50. You personally know at least 5 people with agents. You personally know at least 3 people who have been in a movie or TV show. You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any. You know that not everyone in Beverly Hills is a millionaire. You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is. You've done something on a street corner in an attempt to get money (i.e. sang, tap danced, told jokes). You've gotten parking tickets from parking in the red zone in front of your house. You say you live in LA when really you live in a subsection of a subsection of a subsection of southern LA. Any major movie star is picking out the best portobello mushrooms next to you at the grocers and you don't notice. The guy at 8:30 in the morning at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney. You really can never be too rich or too thin. The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday. The workday starts at 10am...or whenever you get out of your therapy session. Any invitation comes with, "Starts at 8pm or as soon as you can get through traffic." You have never met a waiter that wasn't really an "Actor." You never go to a coffee house without a copy of a script - any script. It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH '99" You call 911 and they put you on hold. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:30 tae-bo class. The three hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn't caused by a horrific 9 car pile-up, but by everyone slowing to rubberneck at a lost shoe lying on the shoulder. A nurse can look at you in all seriousness and ask, "you don?t drink or smoke, right?" All the "cool gyms" allow pedestrians on the street a full-view of those working out. Literally, you can?t drive by Wilshire without staring into L.A. Fitness. Perhaps a new form of window shopping? The hot seasonal party favor is a candied apple from Neiman's. The apples are called "Skinny Dippers." The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal. Bars card. For real. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Los Angeles.

I'll be seeing you
In all the old familiar places
That this heart of mine embraces
All day through.

In that small cafe;
The park across the way;
The children's carousel;
The chestnut trees;
The wishin' well.

I'll be seeing you
In every lovely summer's day;
In every thing that's light and gay.
I'll always think of you that way.

I'll find you
In the morning sun
And when the night is new.
I'll be looking at the moon,
But I'll be seeing you.

I'll be seeing you
In every lovely summer's day;
In every thing that's light and gay.
I'll always think of you that way.

I'll find you
In the morning sun
And when the night is new.
I'll be looking at the moon,
But I'll be seeing you.

And when i see you
I really see you upside down
But my brain knows better
It picks you up and turns you around
Turns you around, turns you around

If you feel discouraged
That there's a lack of color here
Please don't worry lover
It's really bursting at the seems
Absorbing everything
The spectrum's a to z

This fact not fiction
For the first time in years
And all the girls in every girlie magazine
Can't make me feel any less alone
I'm reaching for the phone

To call at 7:03 and on your machine I slur a plea for you to come home
But i know it's too late
I should have given you a reason to stay
Given you a reason to stay [x3]

This is fact not fiction
For the first time in years

I've learned one thing, and that's to quit worrying about stupid things. You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember the time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out with your friends on a Tuesday when you have a paper due on Wednesday. Drink 'till sunrise. Spend money you don't have. The work never ends, but college does

- tom petty

i love my friends

the glare of the same old sun

i think cezanne and i would get along well:

"cezanne's pictures of the nudes show that he could not convey his feeling for women without anxiety. In his painting of the nude woman...he is most often contrained or violent. There is for him no middle ground of simple enjoyment"

about to leave the crofton and visit my cousin near cambridge
This trip has been amazing and i wish it wasnt ending
so much has changed and boston will be interesting in the fall

miss you all

i just looked at this guy's away message who im sorta with, and it was "murring"

this is my update:


things are good
i love no parents, no roomates, and locked doors


i hate papers

classic taylor day...so embarassing
i bit it on Glouster Road -- i tripped and fell on my knees infront of two guys. one who mocks me constantly and the other who i like
number two
i ran across the street to say hi to friends and when the two boys caught up with my the one who mocks me go the sun went right through your skirt. so basically they both saw my ass....ugh




ps im so confused about waht is going on with this guy....MIXED SIGNALS ALWAYS, FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE :)

drama is the stupedest...

sometimes living with twenty people is like a pressure cooker and a small town all in one...but sometimes it rocks

i feel like ive just been dumped...maybe im just weird...i dont know...

the cleaning lady saw my ass....

the awkward continues. i have two giant horrific hickies on my neck. it's summer and i didnt bring any type of turtleneck attire....

ps sometimes people act like they are in junior high

...not me...


i love dorian rice too much

damien rice is my lover

awkward happenings in london. kaks i need a plan...or something ugh